I was a happy, carefree student for ten years in the New Richmond School District. That ended in my junior year.
A male student began using the girls’ restroom. Freshman girls—fourteen years old—were afraid to walk in. At first my friends and I stayed quiet. Then it got worse. When a friend told me she felt intimidated, I got scared too. I started drinking less water so I wouldn’t have to use the bathroom at all. I wondered whether the locker room was next.
Would I have to change in front of him? Would he join my team?
I took that question to the school board. As I read my statement, board members would not look at me. They dismissed what the girls were telling them and left us feeling vulnerable, unheard, and abandoned by the adults who claim their only goal is to keep students safe.
In the months that followed, the girls’ restrooms became a free-for-all. Boys who identified as girls and girls who identified as boys used the girls’ facilities while those of us who objected had no real say. The boys’ spaces were left alone. The day after I spoke, maps went up directing uncomfortable students elsewhere. In practice the girls were the ones pushed out—into single-stall bathrooms, two of them inside the teachers’ lounge. Every lunch period I had to slip in and hope no one noticed. Sometimes I ran into the same staff member who had amplified online attacks against me.
I was sixteen.
I was forced into daily contact with people publicly attacking me inside a building where the adults would not protect female students’ privacy. Plenty of girls told me privately they agreed but stayed quiet. Teachers quietly supported me but were afraid to say it out loud. Students who opposed me started a Facebook group to attack me. Some adults joined in. The same people who say every student deserves to belong created an environment where a sixteen-year-old girl was targeted for defending her own privacy.
When the board refused to act, I stopped waiting. We organized to remove the board member most responsible. Our write-in campaign produced the highest total the district had seen in years. The U.S. Department of Education opened an investigation. When the district’s own attorney made clear that a lawsuit was the only path left, we filed one and took the story to national television. For the first time I felt heard.
Progress has been slow. At a recent board meeting I learned the district’s main response is a motion to dismiss our lawsuit. That only strengthened my resolve. I know girls in other districts feel exactly what I felt and are too frightened to say it. I want them to hear this: you are not alone and you are not wrong. Women like Riley Gaines have shown that speaking up is possible even when the cost is high. I am grateful for athletes like Sophie Cunningham who continue to defend young girls in locker rooms and sports. And on June 30 the Supreme Court affirmed that under Title IX, “sex” means biological sex. The law is beginning to catch up to what girls have known all along.
If we stand together, the message becomes impossible to ignore. We are not surrendering our bathrooms, our locker rooms, or our teams. Not one inch. Every girl who refuses to stay silent makes it easier for the next one. Our privacy matters. Our safety matters. And we are not done fighting for them.
Editor’s Note: Ella Frei will be joined by Riley Gaines and Republican congressional candidate Michael Alfonso for a “Protect and Defend Our Girls” town hall in New Richmond on August 4. Additional details and registration information are available at the link provided.
Ella Frei is a high school student in New Richmond, Wisconsin, and the named plaintiff in a federal Title IX lawsuit against the New Richmond School District.
